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The TOP 50 WAYS To Survive School For The First-Time-Off-To-College Kid

1. By no means miss a meal – you might regret it later that hour.

2. Park your automobile accessibly close.

3. Don’t park in timed zones (2 hour, etc.) – parking overtime adds up.

4. Don’t park in No Parking zones – parking tickets add up and need to be paid before subsequent semester’s registration.

5. Don’t park in Tow Away zones – towing fees are hard to come back by.

6. Take the bus.

7. A nice-point Sharpie is the most effective factor to make use of for signing autographs.

8. A nice-point Sharpie is the perfect factor to use for signing casts.

9. A high quality-level Sharpie is the perfect factor to use for signing “I’m a pal once you want one” cards.

10. Staplers can be utilized to repair the hem on your jeans.

11. Staplers can NOT be used to repair a torn costume or bra strap.

12. Staple removers make great ice tongs for tiny ice cubes.

13. Staple removers are nearly nugatory for eradicating heavy-duty staples, whether they are in paper or your drunk roommate’s eyeball.

14. The scent of the contents of a laundry bag is proportional to the peak of the guest you simply brought in your dorm room in comparison with the place the bag is hanging. The shorter the guest, the higher the bag wants to hang (fumes rise).

15. The scent of the contents of a laundry bag will get worse because the contents get larger in the bag.

16. There are {two} alternatives to the smell of the contents of the laundry bag:

a. Wash the clothes.

b. Purchase new clothes.

c. Taking the clothes residence for the weekend for Mama to scrub shouldn’t be an choice!!

17. When you have to produce a chart for Geography class, make it color-coded.

18. The additional expense and time of a coloration-coded chart can be nicely well worth the effort while you see the “A” on the paper.

19. RoseArt makes the most affordable markers and colored pencils for making charts for Geography class.

20. Crayola markers last more and are most likely darker, but since all of them dry out eventually and you’ll have to buy one other set subsequent semester for the Anthropology charts, why waste the cash now?

21. Wal-Mart is the best place to buy school supplies, towels with the College logo, and sweatshirts with the varsity emblem on them.

22. Costs for EVERYTHING on the college bookstore are critically inflated to show a profit to the Board of Regents.

23. The Board of Regents really does not care how a lot you spent on markers.

24. Wal-Mart was the first store on the moon and on Mars, so there can be one in your faculty town. Discover it. Patronize it. Get to know its manager.

25. Wal-Mart and Waffle House are case studies in your Advertising classes textbooks.

26. Waffle House is open 24 hours a day.

27. Waffle House coffee will maintain open your eyes, fill an empty tummy that has no different money, and heat a tired student who wanted a spot to come in out of the rain.

28. Waffle Home waitresses LIKE tips.

29. Waffle Home waitresses love college kids who tip.

30. Waffle Home waitresses will hear with curiosity when you’re professor bashing – simply be sure that he’s not her brother earlier than you start berating him.

31. Waffle Home waitresses will come to your graduation and look on you with delight as their “rent-a-kid” for those who’ve tipped often enough.

32. Use a corkboard, not the wall, as your bulletin board.

33. Push pins go away little holes in the wall.

34. Push pins leave little holes in your checking account when you have to pay to have the holes crammed in on the finish of the semester. Staples do, too.

35. Staples are onerous to remove from a bulletin board. Use push pins.

36. Push pins can’t be used to deflate your roommate’s boy(or lady)friend’s tires. Besides when inserted into the sidewall of the tire (close to the rim).

37. Taking 12 pairs of footwear to varsity is a bit excessive, especially because you’ll put on OUT your favorite tennis footwear, sandals, and loafers, however the others should be transported to highschool and again home.

38. Dr. Scholl’s makes great gel inserts for worn-out favourite tennis shoes.

39. In case you share a room/tub with several different roommates or hallmates, set the guidelines, nicely, on the primary day:

a. Don’t use my ________ (insert soap, shampoo, crème rinse, deodorant, towel, washcloth, loofah, etc. as needed) and I’ll attempt not to use yours but once or twice.

b. Don’t convey your girlfriend (or boyfriend) to the room with out warning me first. If you do, convey me earplugs and eyeshades so I gained’t have to look at what you’re doing.

c. Don’t take my final pencil/pen/paper without warning me first. In the event you do, I may need to use the back of your time period paper for my class notes.

d. Hold your dirty, smelly laundry on your facet of the room. My side can be full of my own.

e. Be good to me. In any other case, my overly large primate associates might trash your facet of the room one night whereas I’m out for the night time and have conveniently left the door unlocked.

f. Let me know when you’re going to spend the night out so I could make use of your aspect of the room.

40. Hole punchers solely work if you happen to maintain them aligned.

41. Hole punchers only work for those who hold them emptied of the little dots they create from punching holes in your papers.

42. Little dots from the opening-puncher hopper make great confetti.

43. Little dots from the hole-puncher hopper are REALLY laborious to get out of carpet. 44. A budget, shag carpet in older rental trailers that your older school friends are renting holds a ton of little dots from the opening-puncher hopper.

45. Use the suitable size binder clip for the project.

46. Binder clips come in several sizes:

a. Teensy (holds 1 sheet of notebook paper or 2 kisses)

b. Tiny (holds four sheets of pocket book paper or 1 folded dollar for the Waffle House waitress).

c. Small (holds 8 sheets of notebook paper or 2 quarters for a bad Waffle Home tip).

d. Medium (holds 20-forty sheets of pocket book paper or for attaching 1 small journal to your roommate’s pillowcase).

e. Giant (holds 100 sheets of pocket book paper or a cut up seam of a fairly free garment till you may get again to your dorm room; a cut up seam of a tight garment wants a coat or rubbish to cowl it up – repairing it is a waste of time).

f. Excessive (holds 4 books and takes three folks to press it open; for those who get your finger caught in its jaws of dying, have someone else dial 911).

47. Sticky-do’s (commonly known as “put up-it notes) are available in a number of flavors: a. 1.5” x 2” (Small. Nugatory for anything however reminding yourself to purchase bigger sticky-do’s).

b. three” x three” (Medium. Don’t use this dimension to leave notes in your roommate’s pillow like “We’re all out of cornflakes. FU” [quote from Felix Unger, performed by Jack Lemmon, in “The Odd Couple,” a GREAT movie about roommates]).

c. 4” x 6” (Large. Dearer, however within the louder colours, make nice backgrounds on your roommate’s boring bulletin board).

48. Gem clips, whether plastic or steel, are worthless. Until you have to maintain used tissues collectively whereas your drunken roommate spills the beans at IHOP about the frat occasion bash/orgy/sleepover.

49. IHOP waitresses like suggestions, too.

50. Educational pursuits in faculty are for your spare time. Pursue them sparingly.

Next: The way to survive your first semester academically.

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